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Do You Let Pain Stop You from Your Purpose?

By | Emotional, Physical, Pranic Healing, Uncategorized | No Comments
My infected tooth that taught me the power of pushing through.

My infected tooth that taught me the power of pushing through.

The past two weeks have been the longest and most painful two weeks of my life. Affordable dental insurance as a self employed person is hard to come by and any dental work beyond a cleaning and x-rays is pretty much out of pocket. Strangely enough, whenever tooth pain would surface, it was never in my budget to pay $1500 or more upfront for a root canal and crown.

I did the best I could to mitigate this particular situation but over time my tooth became more and more infected; so infected even penicillin wasn’t working. This surprised the dentist considering it works in 9 out of 10 cases. I had to jump up 2 additional levels of antibiotics. I ended up with flagyl, an antibiotic so powerful it is used for patients that have full femur breaks. A pranic healing mentor of mine said, “Once you’ve taken strong antibiotics, its good to counter their negative effects by taking pro-biotics.” Great tip for sure. Another dentist said, “The reason we don’t go straight to the hard stuff is because we want to prevent the creation of super bugs that prevent antibiotics from even working.”

During my two week period of ceaseless tooth pain; I slept maybe an hour a night, ate only liquified smoothies, stumbled around is a disorientated haze from a cocktail of prescription drugs and canceled a couple healing appointments. Now for those of you who know me or have worked with me, I do not cancel appointments — for any reason…looks like I found my only reason. Relentless tooth pain.

Nothing was working. Antibiotics weren’t bringing down the infection, pain killers killed nothin, ice packs simply made my hand cold or hot packs made my hands hot. As a funny side note, I tried putting tumeric on the infected tooth, which is an anti-inflammatory and the pain subsided instantly. Unfortunately its affects were short lived, only an hour or so.

Clients continued to see me, so I could relieve them of their own physical or emotional suffering, yet the mighty pranic healer couldn’t relieve his own. During most healings, I had tears dripping down my cheeks because I was in so much pain. Having tooth ache for a couple days is horrendous, now imagine having a tooth ache for a couple weeks! My compassion for those with acute physical pains is on a whole new level now.

Why didn’t I apply Pranic Healing on myself for tooth pain, you ask?

Pranic Healing is extremely effective on pain. The problem is, its hard to follow a Pranic Healing pain protocol correctly when a person can’t even think straight. In these cases, its best to have another Pranic Healer work on you. My girlfriend, who is a basic Pranic Healing graduate, was able to provide minimal relief during the two weeks. But I needed some big healing guns yet was unable to reach my Pranic Healing posse.

During this time I kept remembering a quote from a Pranic Healing Master, “All suffering is deserved.” Meaning, the pain I was experiencing had to do with pain I may have caused others in this life or another. Its as though I had to suffer in order to payback some negative karma that I had generated. No antibiotics were working. No pain killers were working. No Pranic Healing was working. A large part of the problem had to do with my lack of dental hygiene as a teenager. I would literally go for weeks without brushing. Gross I know. My breath never smelled and when I would get checkups the dentist said, “Hmm. Everything looks good.” Maybe my dentist was retiring soon and had his fill with fillings.

I asked a friend of mine about the karma related to the teeth. He suggested reading into the cliché, ‘biting off more than you can chew.’ The teeth represent commitment and the lack of biting into something is a sign of fear of commitment. I thought about it for a few minutes and realized I have not committed to many things in my life. I quit high school. I quit college twice. I quit my marriage. I quit more jobs than there are states in the US. Hmm. “Hmm, maybe Christian DOES have fear of commitment.”

What have I committed to in my life? There must be something. Oh wait…Pranic Healing, regularly since 2004. Meditation, regularly since 1999. Personal development, regularly since 1995. Curious about how the world works, regularly since 1985. Ok, some I’ve been committed to some things.

Spreading Pranic Healing is my passion, calling, dharma, duty, mission or whatever you want to call it. As my commitment level has been increasing of spreading Pranic Healing in Denver, my tooth pain became more and more exasperated. The pain was most intense during healing sessions. Which leads me to my savior, the solar plexus chakra.

For many years, I felt my lack of follow through or commitment was because of my basic chakra. The basic chakra is located at the base of the spine, it is the chakra of self preservation, dynamic action and prosperity. I was blaming all my emotional and financial woes on my basic chakra. Over the past couple months I realized my solar plexus chakra was the one in need of some serious healing. The solar plexus chakra is located right below the breast bone, it is the chakra of pushing through obstacles, ambition, perseverance, drive, ambition and self-interest. The negative aspects of the solar plexus chakra is self doubt, self sabotage, fear, anxiety, worry and stress.

Whenever I came up against any kind of resistance in my schooling, workplace or relationship, I would flip out or cave in to the pressure. I hadn’t developed the ability to push back against resistance in a healthy, non-assholey way. I chose to flight instead of fight because I felt once I started to fight I would be unable to turn it off and end up going to jail or sleeping on the streets. A healthy solar plexus also thrives on competition; to be the best, blood-thirsty, the killer instinct, love of the hunt and do or die. The famous expression from New York City, “…if you make it here you can make it anywhere” relates to the solar plexus chakra. I was never that guy.

A couple months back, I had a conversation with an acquaintance who is quite skilled in using his solar plexus for pushing through obstacles. Just that conversation alone was enough to propel into using my solar plexus for pushing through inner and outer resistance to being a successful healer. I said to myself, “Oh, THIS is what it feels like to be competitive, to push through resistance, to have a ‘do or die’ attitude.” My life has changed for the better from that point forward.

With my new found ‘love of the hunt’ I have been able to rapidly spread pranic healing in Denver with one-on-one healings, group meditations, and group talks. While practicing this new skill of pushing through resistance, something beautiful happened.

A portion of my consciousness transferred from my solar plexus chakra (lower will) to my ajna chakra (higher will). The ajna chakra is located between the eyebrows and is called the Master Chakra in Pranic Healing. It controls and regulates all the chakras below it. Also, it helps a person get the job done without having to become emotional about it. No motivation required. If you have ever been to an Anthony Robbin’s or motivational seminar, the techniques they employee are for the solar plexus chakra. They want you to get EXCITED or PASSIONATE in order to get you to act. A person operating from the ajna does not get emotionally invested, he knows his assignment and does it whether he ‘feels’ like it or not. He does it because it is the right thing to do and/or it needs to be done.

The downside of operating solely from the ajna is that a person can seem cold, hard and unfeeling. In a few short weeks, I was becoming that person. I did healing after healing, no matter the pain, no matter how little slip I got or how little time I was spending with my girlfriend. She said, “You seem different. More powerful but where’s you usual, warm, fun-loving self?” In that moment, I began to realize what was happening.

Spreading Pranic Healing is like an ordinary job. Its a global cause starting on a grass roots level by having one conversation at a time, healing one person at a time, teaching meditation one person at a time. Yes, it one way I earn a living but what I receive in return from sharing Pranic Healing is beyond words.

Where in your life are you fully committed and pushing through obstacles and resistance? Do you wake up in the morning and carry out your commitment whether you ‘feel’ like it not? Whether you are healthy or sick? Married or divorced? Happy or sad? Rested or tired? Are your chakras conditioned to overcome any and all resistance from within? If one removes the inner obstacles, the outer obstacles are easy to overcome.

During my tooth pain, I didn’t feel like I had an option to stop doing healings. My duty is to alleviate others suffering, almost at the sacrifice of my own physical health. My spiritual teacher, Grandmaster Choa Kok Sui (GMCKS), was known for tirelessly traveling the globe spreading pranic healing to over 150 countries in less than 30 years. He had a huge purpose that he was fully committed to regardless of how his physical, emotional, or mental bodies were doing. GMCKS saw these bodies as vehicles to spread Pranic Healing and Arhatic Yoga. His commitment came at a great sacrifice to his family and ultimately his health, by an early death. A business owner I know once said, “You can burn out or rust out.” It looks as though my teacher chose to burn out. GMCKS lived an extremely powerful life radiating light, love and power where ever he went.

A purpose or calling can be highly energizing. People with purposes tend to create flow states when pursuing their purpose whether its a pranic healing session, musical composition, training for a MMA fight, teaching a meditation class, painting your masterpiece, or spending quality time with your grand kids.

These are my takeaways from this article.

  1. Whatever you want in life will require commitment, so commit.

  2. Your commitment will be challenged often, so push ahead.

  3. Pushing ahead can make you cold and hard, so add love.

  4. Instead of ‘biting off more than you can chew’ increase your bite size.

  5. Brush and floss your teeth twice a day, everyday.

With Love.

My Dad’s Battle After the War

By | Depression, Emotional, Habit, Uncategorized | No Comments
After the external battle is over, the internal battle begins.

After the external battle is over, the internal battle begins.

I was recently watching a George Carlin clip on Youtube in which he rails against people who use soft language to hide the truth and pain of a situation. Most notable is the term ‘shell shock’ from World War (WW) 1. Shell shock is defined as, “a reaction to the intensity of the bombardment and fighting that produced a helplessness appearing variously as panic and being scared, or flight, an inability to reason, sleep, walk or talk.”

Carlin states with each new generation, truth and pain become buried under jargon. The condition of shell shock in WW1 morphed into ‘battle fatigue’ that morphed into ‘operation exhaustion’ and by the time Vietnam was happening, the very same condition was called ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ (PSTD). With each evolution of the condition it became more complex with less humanity. The original pain of the situation became lost in vague jargon.

My dad was a Vietnam Vet. In fact, he served in DaNang during the worst time of the Vietnam War. To this day, I have never heard my dad speak openly to my brothers and me about his experiences during war-time. Only my oldest brother was privy to these experiences. Why so? My brother was in charge of preparing the case against the US Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) about the horrors and acts against humanity, that my dad witnessed during war-time. His accounts of these horrors were over 300 pages long. After preparing that case-study, my brother never looked at my dad in the same light again.

This case started because my dad was unable to continue working as a correction officer for the state of MA. My dad’s “inner demons” were rearing their ugly heads again and he was unable to return to work because of doctors’ orders. It put him in the position of having to resign from the state job and apply for disability with the VA. During this time my dad supported himself and the three of us with savings, home equity line of credit and maxing out all of his credit cards. It was the most stressful and often, most dire, time of my family’s life.

After 3 years of battling with the VA and proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dad’s condition was caused by inhuman acts of war and not from psychological make-up, the VA relented and awarded my dad 100% disability due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder caused during war-time.

You might say, “Awesome! Your dad deserves that compensation for the risk he took defending our country. Now he has the time and money to travel, work in the garden or pick up a hobby he’s always been interested in. No more worries about retirement, medical bills or even burial plots. The VA is picking up the tab for all of it.” I originally thought the same thing, little did I know about the iron-claw that PTSD would have on his life.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Many people die at twenty-five and aren’t buried until they are seventy-five.” My dad’s ‘death’ happened when he left the Marine Corps at age 23. His life became a 15-year drunken stupor of eating out of garbage cans, fighting at local bars, working back to back menial, low-paying jobs and black-outs that lasted days. During his misery and pain, he stumbled into a relationship with my mom and had two boys with her. Ten years later, I was the lucky little surprise my parents had after falling out of love and into divorce.

My dad was ‘awarded’ his 100% disability status in 1996. One could imagine the past 18 years being filled with travel, gardening and hobbies but not so. CNN or History Channel play on TV around the clock, he sleeps at all hours of the day and night, eats only processed foods, moves his body very little, and still smokes like a chimney with filter-less Camels. Besides downing chocolate glazed donuts and 12-inch steak and cheese grinders from Papa Ginos, he’s on anti-anxiety, anti-depression, anti-high blood pressure, anti-high cholesterol, and anti-quality of life medications. Why? Simple…medications are free from the VA and popping pills require no change on his part. The pills keep him alive, but not enlivened.

My brothers and I have tried to urge, conj-ole, even threaten him to go out on a date, see a therapist, start juicing, walk around the neighborhood, quit smoking, go on a day trip to the Cape and any number of things that we KNOW will improve his physical and emotional well being. Even a friend blogger, Mans at theHackedMind, suggested the nootropic, aniracetam, which has been shown to help with depression and anxiety. But the old adage, “Nothing happens until someone sells something”, applies to my dad as, “Nothing happens until he sells himself.”

He has to be willing to change.

Its a humbling experience to help complete strangers greatly improve their physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being with a complete overhaul of poor lifestyle habits yet I’ve been unable to help my dad drink a glass of fresh carrot juice. What I know about habit change and behavior modification, its best to insert a new behavior immediately after an established habit…the challenge is, my father has almost no established habits. Not in sleep, not in eating, not in tv viewing, not in socializing or anything I can think of at the moment. I guess I’m gonna have to look into his micro-habits.

For the record, I love my father with all my heart and he has accomplished some amazing things despite his shortcomings with alcoholism and PTSD. He was able to get his life together enough to be able to accept my two brothers and I to live with him after leaving our mom. He worked 80-hour weeks for years in order to provide food, shelter and a down-payment for a great house in a great town. All those who know my dad respect, admire and adore him because of his tremendous heart and willingness to sacrifice himself for the benefit of his three sons.

For 14 years he was able to keep his emotions under control and work ethic in check long enough to provide my brothers and I with stability. Then in 1993, he could no longer keep it together. The ‘inner demons’ could no longer be silenced, that is when he applied for disability.

My heart goes out to every veteran who has ever served our country. I do not agree with the military/industrial complex and how it sees human beings as machines rather than men. It sickens me how the men and women of power can sacrifice the lives of others to move their own agendas forward. There is nothing sexy, macho or admirable about war. Killing only begets more killing. If that wasn’t the case, we’d have peace. On the flip side, these men and women enter the military under their own free will because the draft is no longer in affect.

While most veterans do not lose their physical lives during a Tour of Duty, countless others have lost everything else in mind, motivation, and meaning, becoming the walking dead waiting to be buried.

I salute you.

With Love.