As long as I can remember I have had a horrible daily routine. Some days I would sleep 14 hours and wake up feeling exhausted with a severe headache. Other days I’d be running on 6 hours of sleep and accomplish more in that day than in some weeks.
Eat times and amounts were always a hit or miss with breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I would skip meals because of my work schedule or I would gorge at 11:30pm at night after a group meditation with friends. I ate processed foods because they were fast, cheap, and tasty never-mind the addictive qualities.
Exercising was a complete joke to me. God blessed me with the good genetics that kept my muscle mass high and fat mass low consistent throughout my entire life. I would workout in spurts, on and off for years. I was never consistent because my body worked great whether I worked it or not.
The term job dissatisfaction I think was actually coined by a friend who was helping me restructure my mess-of-a-resume. She became overwhelmed by the sheer volume and types of jobs I had over the past 15 years. I’ll bet you right now, you haven’t had anywhere near the amount of jobs I’ve had in my life.
Even my meditation practice, my only source of intense bliss and inner peace, was just an every other day or every three-day affair.
I saw sleep, nutrition, exercise, work and meditation as events rather than a process. If this time was the deepest sleep, most nutritious smoothie, most intense workout, biggest sale or most blissful meditation….I could slack off for awhile, take it easy, have more free time to do what I really wanted to do.
I credit a lot of my inconsistency with the type of work I chose in my mid-teens. The food and beverage industry. I became accustomed to working days, nights, weekends, holidays, doubles, fill-ins, early cuts and having those hours change from week to week. These schedules made it challenging of when and what to eat. If I had plans of going to bed early and waking up early, it was usually derailed by having to work late that night then opening the next morning. Even the very income itself was inconsistent, requiring picking up shifts to pay bills, unforeseen expenses, or saving for a yoga retreat. This pattern persisted into my early 30’s.
Then the shift occurred through the help of a girlfriend, a few books, removing sugar, and a change in mindset.
I began dating this amazing girl who found me working at yet another restaurant job. In the process of getting to know me and the experiences I have had in the worlds of business, public speaking and real estate investing, she made a very strong point, “You need to get the fuck out of the restaurant business; its sucking your life away, paying you dog-shit while you have all these gifts to share.” I quickly heeded her suggestion and haven’t looked back.
The three books that have transformed my daily routine were Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, who assisted me in recognizing the small things I did do everyday could be used as anchors to attach more empowering habits. I used this very method to greatly reduce sugar in my diet and increase the amount of fruit and nuts I ate.
Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller Sr. by Ron Chernow which to be honest I cheated a bit by using the cliff notes by Dane Maxwell from ‘The Foundation.’ I have no problem reading an 832 page book but if I can save some time I’m all about it. The biggest take away I got from Titan was that John D Rockefeller Sr. had the same schedule for over 60 years and was vigilant about protecting it. No one was allowed to impose their schedule or agenda onto his. It helped me realize that a simple, boring daily routine practice over time through rain, sleet, or shine could make someone the richest person in the world.
The last book, The UltraMind Solution by Mark Hyman put my mind at ease about my inconsistencies, stating poor biology rather than psychology or neurology could be the cause of my laziness, depression, inconsistencies, and overall poor daily routine. By changing my diet and adding appropriate supplementation, I became more consistent in every area of my life.
Which brings me to removing sugar from my diet. Well, not actually removing it but greatly reducing it to my morning coffee and the occasional piece of specialty chocolate. The need to reduce my intake of sugar was one of the greatest realizations of my life within the past 20 years. I had absolutely no clue as to how much it affected my sleep, hunger, energy level, work ethic, ability to concentrate, and emotional state. The details are in an article on my website called, How My Addiction to Sugar Almost Killed Me. In a nutshell, only by removing sugar for 6 weeks then reintroducing it into by diet could I see how much it was affecting my physical, emotional, and mental health.
Now the mindset shift was primed and ready. I was out of the restaurant business, the three books gave me the know-how to create a supportive daily routine, and sugar was no longer gripping my life. I made the mindset shift to, “I’m committed to living a supportive daily routine to help me live out my purpose of coaching and healing many people.”
Fast forward to present day. I wake up at 5:30am feeling rested and rejuvenated. Meditation, breakfast, and exercise begin at 5:45am. I spend 9:00am to 6:00pm writing articles, filming videos and coaching clients. Eat lunch from 1:00pm to 2:00pm. Power nap from 2:00pm to 2:30pm.
Eat dinner at 6:30pm. Begin my nightly ritual of drinking tea, journaling, and reading at 9:00pm. Finally I’m off to the inner world of sleep and dreams by 10:00pm.
This is the basis of my daily routine with some slight modifications on Saturday and Sunday. But the whole point is to follow this routine consistently. The compound benefits of this routine are immense. My energy levels have never been higher or more sustainable. I accomplish more in a day than I use to in a week. I feel calm yet alert throughout the day. I accomplish the most important things earliest in the day. With each passing day on this routine, it becomes stronger and easier to live by. The daily routine actually drives me.
I coach my clients on developing a similar routine. The principles and reasons behind why it works are rock solid. It does require an overhaul of certain lifestyle practices but the payoff is not only immediate but the long-term benefits of greater health, inner peace, and clarity of mind are immeasurable. I came to the conclusion that these practices work, I got my life back. I felt in order to live my life’s purpose required a consistent daily routine. The key is daily.
For those looking to create a perfect day, I offer free 30 mins. to assist you in creating your perfect day. During the free session to will gain clarity on how to create your perfect day, identify challenges in creating your perfect day, and feel a renewed sense of enthusiasm and vigor for your life. Contact me at ChristianRLong.com or 347-879-0764
Do any of these expressions sound familiar? Follow your bliss, follow your heart, the heart knows all, home is where the heart is, do what you love, passion before profits, and secrets of the heart. Lots of been said about the hearts connection to purpose. Coming from someone who has spent most of his adult life in the process of opening, listening to, and following his heart this article flips the script as a devils’ advocate. Following your heart successfully requires following your mind too.
What does it mean to follow your heart? How many times have you followed your heart in a relationship, business venture, or cross country move only to realize it was a huge mistake? There was a disconnect between the impulse of the heart and the ability of the mind to discern. To discern something means to see something as it is; not as one believes it to be or wants it to be.
My heart compelled me to join forces with a business partner but lack of discernment failed to ask questions about his financial strength and work habits before entering into a business that cost me $100,000+ dollars.
My heart compelled me to get rush into a relationship after my marriage but lack of discernment caused 3 years of suffering because I had not done the inner work on myself.
My heart compelled me to move 2,000 miles from my hometown to pursue my dream of being a full time healer but lack of discernment left me without enough savings to find the right place and market my healing services effectively.
Thinking must accompany the impulse of the heart. Henry Ford once said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.” Its easy to follow the desires and impulses of the heart. In fact its at our very nature to be guided by the heart. The Great Spiritual Teachers talk of a physical seed atom located in the center of the heart. This atom contains the history of all our past lives, lessons learned and those needing to be learned. When you become effective at tapping into the wisdom of the heart, you begin to become aware of what your life is all about. Once you gain this awareness, you must then kick in your higher mental faculties to determine the best possible way to live your purpose.
If you live your life based on your emotions, you will be lead astray again and again. The emotions ebb and flow like the waves of the ocean; rise and fall, rise and fall. Lets say you have found your purpose tomorrow. An angel sent you a text message with the following words, “Your life purpose is (blank).” At first you would be so ecstatic and thrilled that you had finally gotten the answer. Now what? Time to quit the job, leave the family, sell all possessions and move to Argentina to volunteer on a sheep farm that produces wool for third-world countries. This is where discernment comes in.
We are all interconnected to each other in this world; your thoughts, words, and actions affect others around you. Bailing on your obligations, commitments, and promises because you found your life’s purpose could be disastrous. This could generate tremendous negative karma for you and create suffering for many others.
So how do you develop discernment and minimize suffering for yourself and others?
Meditation is one of the most profound endeavors humankind can participate in. There are many forms of meditation with each one developing a specific aspect of one’s divinity. During meditation one gradually stills the body then the emotions, then the mind and in the quiet stillness, one’s intuition becomes highly activated. The more you practice meditation, the clearer and more powerful your insights become.
Also through meditation one develops the ability to hear the ‘Whisper of the Soul.’ Once one hears the super subtle message of the Soul, one can start to use the intellect and reasoning faculties to determine exactly what the message is and how to act accordingly. But to follow the heart blindly can lead to suffering and disappointment.
What you consider an impulse of the heart might be following a program imposed by you family, culture, limiting beliefs, or internal fears.
Intense emotion around your life’s purpose clouds your ability to discern.
My recommendation is to begin a simple meditation program. I have used the Meditation on Twin Hearts since 2004 with great success in all areas of my life. Its simple, powerful, and takes less than 30 minutes once a day. This meditation is not only effective in developing the heart but also in developing discernment and higher intuition. The CD is only $30 and can found on numerous sites including PranicHealing.com
The secret to all meditations is consistency. A regular meditation schedule will begin to create a compounding effect. Your sense of clarity and inner peace around your life’s purpose will grow with each session. Part of my life’s purpose is in sharing this with you.
Christian R Long is a Flow Coach and Pranic Healer here to assist you in having a Perfect Day. You can receive a limited Free 30 minute coaching session where you will gain clarity of your perfect day, become aware to challenges in creating that perfect day, and feel a renewed sense of enthusiasm and vigor for your life. Contact Christian now to reserve your spot by visiting his website at ChristianRLong.com or calling 347-879-076Four
I was teaching a men’s seminar recently, called Mastering the Male Mindset, with a buddy of mine. In a room full of men (and a few girls) we started out by asking a simple question. This question and its answer, is the secret key to unlock untold dating riches for the men who apply it. This secret is literally the difference between a World of Abundance and Joy with Women or a World of Lack and Settling with Women. “How many of you here have approach anxiety with women?” Every—single–hand—went—up. And the seminar began…
By coaching dozens of men in the dating sphere, I hear time and time again their biggest hang up, “How do I approach a pretty girl?” And my heart goes out to them because I was once in their position. I was in a 4-year relationship that turned from hot and heavy to dry and sour. We no longer connected emotionally or sexually, and neither of us were having our needs met. Knowing she didn’t have the willpower to dump me, I summoned up the strength to dump myself. Boy was it scary and boy was it well worth it.
During this time, my best friend had just ended his own 4-year relationship. He introduced me to this world of pickup, seduction, and social dynamics between men and women. All my previous conceptions of pickup artists being seedy and lying bastards who just used women for sex crumbled as I realized it was more about personal development, inner game, and owning my masculinity. I immediately began applying these methodologies and skills with great success. These skills are for all men whether they are seeking one night stands, a long term or polyamorous relationship, or finding their soulmate that they marry, it all begins with approaching.
Real mean are hunters, real men take action, real men go for what they want. Real men do NOT grab a drink at a bar, stand against the wall with that drink and wait for the Perfect 10 to approach them. Unless you are someone famous or you own the bar, it unlikely to happen. So why don’t men approach more?
In my discussions with men, I have discovered lots of reasons; fear of rejection, feeling of worthlessness, lack mentality, fear of not being handsome enough, not knowing what to say, not knowing if he can carry on the conversation. But essentially it all goes back to the fear of the unknown. “What if she tells me to fu@k off?” “What if my breath smells?” “What if she has a boyfriend nearby?” What if…what if…what if…? Well, what if she likes you? What if you guys have a great connection? What if that approach leads to a threesome? (if that’s your desire) It all starts with the approach. Period. End of story.
Here’s a little side note: Its been observed that how a couple first meets will determine the pace and frame for the rest of the relationship. So if you want to be admired, respected, and adored by your girl which scenario would set a better frame; meeting her on Match.com, being introduced by a friend, or pulling her from the ‘Fire of Fear and Rejection?’ The third option will forever set the frame that you are a badass, you go for what you want, and you will not be denied.
5 Steps to Overcome Approach Anxiety:
1. Approach, approach, approach.
Get your ass off the bar stool, bottle service bench, or club wall and approach. The fear never fully goes away but its terrorizing grip gets weaker and weaker the more times you approach. I have approached over a 1,000 woman in my dating life and even now, there a moments of hesitation. The trick is to be present to the fear and approach anyways. Start with a smile, then ask for the time, then hold the conversation for 30 seconds, then 5 mins. and so forth. Start small and build up.
2. Build Social Momentum
The more women you approach in a short period of time the more socially lubricated you will become. You’re body language will reflect a person who is relaxed and comfortable with himself. An uptight, anxious man will have a much harder time seducing women. For instance, go to a crowded part of town and set a goal to approach 10 women in 30 mins.
3. She may not like your approach
Lets be real for a second men, every girl is not going to like your approach, maybe your clothes, maybe she’s having an off day, it doesn’t really matter. Rule of thumb is 1/3 of girls will love you, 1/3 of girls will hate you, and 1/3 of girls need to know more before deciding. Its no big deal. Just like every girl isn’t your ideal, don’t expect to be every girl’s ideal.
4. Congruence as a Man
Congruence simply means an alignment with your thoughts, words, and actions. Don’t say one thing and do another. Don’t approach a girl from a mindset of being a friend when in the back of your mind you can’t wait for the opportunity to get her in bed. Have some balls, and own up to your attraction. She will appreciate it later or she blows you off, either one. When you are being a man of integrity that builds attraction and trust with women. Leave the gentleman bullshit out if you are using that as a disguise to get into her pants, she’ll spot it out in a heartbeat.
5. Freedom from Outcome
This is a tie-in between Steps 3 and 4. You approach because you want to. You talk about things that interest you. You laugh when you want to not when you think you should. The reaction of the girl is irrelevant. You create the frame, you create the reality and she chooses if she wants to come into your reality. You are not to be an emotional or sexual leach to her. Do not be attached to her reactions, good or bad.
These 5 Steps lead the way to greater success with women but are not the only steps. It all begins with the approach. The world of social dynamics can be messy and at times, counterintuitive, but always interesting. Writing this article got me thinking about another I will write called, “The #1 Problem Women Face in Finding Mr. Right.”
Christian R Long is a Flow Coach and Pranic Healer here to assist you in having a Perfect Day. You can receive 30mins of Free Coaching by visiting his website at ChristianRLong.com or calling 347-879-076Four — in Denver, CO.